Can males get Postnatal Depression too?

The simple answer is YES!

For those of you who have read my ‘about me’ section, you will know that my passion is to raise awareness of postnatal depression in men. PND in men is almost unheard of, with people believing that PND can only affect women. However, research has found that up to 1 in 10 new fathers become depressed after having a baby.

“Research has actually found that up to 1 in 10 new fathers become depressed after having a baby.” (https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/post-natal-depression/)

PND in men is sometimes referred to as Paternal Postnatal Depression (PPND). The cause for the onset of PPND is due to an imbalance in hormones, particularly testosterone. However, there are some external causes of PPND.

The external causes of PPND include (but are not limited to):

• lack of sleep
• extra stress due to becoming a dad
• feeling excluded due to the new arrival
• a poor relationship with the mother
• lack of support from those around you
• If the mother of your baby suffers with PND, you are also likely to suffer

The following are symptoms of PPND:

• feeling overwhelmed and helpless
• irritability and hostility towards friends and family
• difficulty in bonding with the baby
• feeling guilty for a lack of bond with the baby
• chronic fatigue
• feeling like you can’t cope
• lack of interest in the things you used to enjoy
• feeling sad/crying a lot
• headaches
• constant worry about the babies health
• problems concentrating and making decisions
• thoughts of self-harm or harming your baby

 

If you believe you or your loved one is suffering with PPND, contact your GP or other health professional for diagnosis and further advice on ways to overcome PPND. The sooner it is treated, the better!

The following are treatments/strategies for PPND:

• Antidepressants
• Counselling
• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
• Meditation/mindfulness
• Support groups

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you would like some more information on PND/PPND.

Love, Hayley x

PND and me – my story

28th November, 2016 | 9:55AM

With my OH and mum stood next to me, I remember looking around the room, eyes blurred from gas and air, trying to come to terms with the fact that I had just become a mum. It was something I’d had 9 months to prepare for, 9 months of wishing away time so that I could have my baby boy in my arms, AND HE WAS FINALLY HERE… so why did I feel so disconnected from my tiny, beautiful newborn baby staring up in to my eyes? Why did I feel emotionless? Why wasn’t I experiencing the supposedly magical moment of holding your baby in your arms for the first time that everyone talks about?! Skin-to-skin with my boy, I asked for someone to take him off of me. I felt absolutely no bond whatsoever.

31st November, 2016 | 5PM

It was finally home time! I was in pain from surgery and tired from the lack of sleep since going in to labour – I couldn’t wait for my home comforts and a nice long soak in the shower! After spending a good 20 minutes trying to fit the car seat in to the car amongst all of the baby boy balloons and birthing bags, we were on our way… at a slow pace of 30mph due to OG’s worrying, doting dad. We sat in silence, holding hands, waiting for the tiniest noise to be reassured that OG was in fact still in his car seat (PHEW!).

Arriving home, I left OG with my OH so that I could take a shower. I stood in that shower feeling absolutely amazed and proud of myself for bringing this tiny human in to the world – I cannot explain just how incredible that feeling is! Having crawled back downstairs, I looked over at my OH with our son in his lap bonding over their first football match together, thinking to myself ‘what did I do to be so, so lucky?!’. I felt an overwhelming amount of love for these two incredible human beings. Life was perfect.

A couple of weeks later…

I laid in the bath, sobbing quietly so that my OH wouldn’t hear. I felt repulsed by my weight gain and stretch marks from the pregnancy. I had gone from being in the best shape of my life, to a saggy skinned, size 14 clothed, tired looking 23 year old. In fact I struggled so much with coming to terms with my new mum bod, that I remember breaking down over my OH accidentally putting my new cream jumper – the only piece of clothing I felt nice in – in the wash with darks. I could see how angry my OH was with himself. He knew.

From this point onwards, I cried to myself on a daily basis. A couple of times my OH caught me, but most of the time I managed to keep these breakdowns to myself. As the months went on, I started to become so disconnected from everyone and everything around me including my son. In fact I resented my son! I didn’t feel any love for him. I blamed OG for my loss of interest in things I enjoyed previously, and I found myself sleeping for hours on end only to wake up and be physically unable to open my eyes.

After a few weeks of passing out on the sofa at 5PM every single night, my OH had clearly started to worry, suggesting I see a doctor. I knew what he was thinking, and I was angry at him for it! See, the thing about PND (and other types of depression) is that you yourself are not aware of these changes happening to you. To me, I was fine.

4 months postpartum…

Having eventually listened to my OH, I’m sat in my doctors office, listening to her tell me I have PND and handing me what felt like hundreds of leaflets and numbers for further information and help. I left that office, with a prescription for antidepressants in my hand, feeling like an absolute failure of a mum. I didn’t deserve to have been blessed with such a beautiful child. I couldn’t cope anymore. I didn’t want to be here.

This was the beginning of my PND journey.

Love, Hayley x